a heart with many rooms

As a human who struggles with striving, this was a message God spoke to me a few months ago.

In the struggle to try and sanctify myself, I found I forgot my constant need for God.

He is the only one who can cleanse me, break my chains that reclaim me, set me free daily, forgive me, and call me righteous.

on my own, it is just a silly game of placing pearls on a muddy pig.

Useless and exhausting.

I found that it is so easy for us to want to build our own house. To build up our own dreams, our own desires, our own holiness.

But may we never be quick to forget that

Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.

I pray that for anyone else who struggles with striving, this will be a message of grace and love to cause your strivings to cease today and that you will rest in the arms of our God who is both gracious and loving.

He said to me,

"Child, if you were perfect, you would have no need for me.

You keep trying to clean yourself and clear out each room before I can even get to you like that's what I want. . . No, I want to make myself known in the house of your heart. I want to make my way through each room and meet you there. There I know you will bargain and making those garage sale deals about what can stay or go. But if I do call something to go, I do not ask you to remove that couch of comfort of mirror of idolatry on your own. I lift one side, I guide you down the stairs and out the door.

It takes time.

We will take breaks,

but once it is out, there will no longer be room for it in your heart for the new has come.

I'm not looking for a house with every room wiped clean of any trace of you. I'm looking for rooms bursting with life and passion, and I will go to inhabit those rooms with you.

And in my presence, you will find that some things in each room come to life, perhaps the camera hanging from the door handle or the cozy blankets strewn across your bed that you wrap yourself in as you come sit close to me and nestle you head in my arms.

Or possibly, it's that rug where you gather as you bring others in, where you cry and share your hearts as you listen together.

And all the same, as I shine my light into the dark messy closets, I will help you to let go.

But Beloved, Be still.

I know your heart begins to race as you run to close the doors of closets that I desire to look into.

You're afraid,

that's okay.

You do not need to hide.

You do not let me down.

All I feel is grace & love.

I understand. My Love, you don't need to explain or try and be something you are not. And you are not perfect. But you are my child that I love. You do not need to race to each room before me and try and throw everything out in hopes of pleasing me. It is not the cleanliness of the house that overwhelms my heart with love, it's you. That I get to be in your company, to grow closer and share in your heart, that is what I want.

I want you.

You feel as though nothing is good enough because you are misunderstanding my purpose for being there. It is not to make your house perfect instantly. No, then you would love perfection, not my company. My purpose is to be with you. It's in this time that we fall into a true relationship that is deeper than just holding the title of guest. I become a permanent resident, a safe place, someone who will never abandon you despite the mess they see.

And through this, you begin to trust.

And you let me into the darkest closets of your heart.

When I look through those closets and I find distrust, lust, pride, envy, discontentment...

I do not judge...

I cry.

Because the things of the world have hurt you, that even though I have saved you, this brokenness still plagues you until the day when brokenness and this world will be put to death and I get the final word.

Where you will be fully redeemed.

I cry my love, because I know how these things hurt you, and make you believe lies about yourself.

They make you doubt, question, wander...

Let me in.

When you hide those doubts, you keep me from speaking truth and life over them. And in trying to clean it all up yourself, you threw away a piece of yourself too.

All along forgetting that there is grace.

I have never hated you.

I am not disappointed in you.

Because as I entered into that closet, you were so focused on the content within that you overlooked the grace I knew would already cover everything I would find.

I saw it as I approached the door,

the blood of my Son

on your doorframe.

and all I felt was

love.

side note for the reader:

It's important to not judge others and what they are doing because I do not know what room God is working on in them in His time. And at one point, He hadn't entered those rooms for me yet either. Or, I had pushed Him out. Walk in grace in the way you love, Just as God does for us.

Verses:

Ephesians 1:7
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace

Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is y grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.

2 Corinthians 5:17-19 
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here1 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 

Jeremiah 31:3
"...I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness".

Isaiah 44:22
I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.”

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Prayer:

Lord, allow me to embrace the truth of your grace and mercy. To remember that your goodness meets me where my humanity causes me to fall short. Lord, help me to have courage to let you into all parts of my heart. To be not just my Savior but Lord of my heart and life. God, give me strength to show myself grace, as you have shown me grace. And let me never forget the love and gentleness you have towards me. Thank you for being a God who draws nearer to me the more broken I am. I love you, In Jesus Name.

Amen

Songs:

Captured: Isla Vista Worship & Mark Barlow

My Podcast:

"You're Not Alone" on Spotify