fearless

i think it's time we finally all talk about it.

you know, that thing that you hate to admit kinda controls your life,

that you try and push away to pretend you're fine but it's still there,

the thing that somehow finds its way into all parts of your life taking control in every part of your mind that it can and stealing your peace and joy.

yup, we are talking about what is commonly known as "worry", "nerves", and anxiety.

but we are gonna call it by its real name:

fear.

if i am being honest, writing this blog is kinda uncomfy, it's talking about something that i am still struggling with and still battle each day.

and some days i still feel like i lose,

actually lots of days.

However, i'm tired of losing and letting fear steal my peace and joy. So today, we are going to get to the root of the problem, and then i will give you ways to fight this battle that guarantees your victory.

Because as I have learned, if you don't pull up something from the root, it will continue to grow back time and time again.

so let's talk about it.

worry is something commonly seen among all people of all ages.

Living on a college campus, it would be more rare for me to see someone who is not stressed or feeling overwhelmed in this season of life.

Trust me, i get it.

everything has changed.

2020 has given us more than we ever thought a year could, and COVID has changed all aspects of our lives, including church and our ability to have community.

classes are online, attention spans are down, depression and anxiety are up, grades are dropping, isolation and suicide are on the rise, and people feel more alone and helpless than ever.

i know that we are all struggling, that this year has been a lot on you and your heart and even more so your mind.

and at this point you are just numb to the news headlines, the deaths, the tragedy, the chaos, and the hurt and fear you feel.

The other day i realized how heavy and draining this year has been.

you can look around and physically see the toll it has taken on people.

I was trying to explain what i have been feeling to a friend, and the only way i could put it was like this,

"it feels like i have been survival mode since march, and my mind and body are just tired. Even in the moments when i should be able to rest and have my guard down, i just can't. My eyes have seen the brokenness of this world more evident than ever before, and it's scary and heavy...and as a result, my mind races"

and they agreed too.

peace is something that few people can confidently say they have these days, instead restless minds, sleepless nights, and avoidance are our choice of poison.

might i add, worry and fear are slowly killing us.

i can feel it, maybe you can too.

that rock you feel in your stomach when you wake up and the tight chest that accompanies it.

the way that you try and distract yourself and keep the noise loud so you don't have to hear the racing thoughts in your brain.

or the way you find you are unable to rest and be silent, because deep down you are afraid of what will meet you there.

fear.

fear of rejection,

fear of not being enough,

fear of your past,

fear of the future,

fear of the unknown,

fear of the known,

fear of your own mind.

fear.

it has begun to control us, seeping into all aspects of our lives.

our fear of being rejected has caused us an inability to be in healthy relationships because we look to the other person for acceptance all while projecting our insecurities onto them.

our fear of being not enough causes us to constantly strive and be restless, always looking at the person next to us...never stopping to ask ourselves if what we are striving for is what we really even want, or if it's what the world tells us we want.

our fear of our past tells us that if we were fully known that no one would want us, that if anyone truly knew your deepest darkest secrets then you would be deemed unlovable.

our fear of the future, which is a result of us creating hypothetical situations in our minds that probably will never happen but we still let take our joy and life, just in case the "what if" comes true.

our fear of the unknown, realizing that we truly have no control, especially after all that has happened this year.

our fear of the known, realizing that the weight of this world is heavy, and pandemics, riots, fires, deaths, and tragedy have shaken us to our core.

and the fear of our own mind, that these lies might be too much, that the restlessness is forever and our minds will never get better. that fear is our new reality.

well, if you couldn't tell, those are the fears that race through my mind.

the ones i struggle with day in and day out.

when i read them, it makes me sad to realize i have allowed fear to control and seep into so many aspects of my life, and maybe as you were reading them you could say that some of those fears are yours too. that maybe you have given fear too much control, which lets be real, any control is too much control. and maybe deep down, you have the same desire as me... to be fearless.

what if i told you that today, me and you can learn how to be fearless together?

to conquer the thing that has taken too much of our lives from us.

enough is enough, it's time we take back our lives, that we choose the victory.

i'm ready, more than ready.

are you?

well then, let's get started.

The other day, I went to a plant nursery because I really needed to do something that would take care of my mind and heart that day. I was tired, burnt out, and restless when i woke up that morning, feeling overwhelmed by the heavy thoughts in my mind.

As i entered the nursery, a sign caught my eye.

It said:

"Your mind is a garden,

Your thoughts are the seeds.

You can plant flowers...

or you can grow weeds."

wow.

i found myself standing there kinda speechless.

how does it make you feel?

I felt called out, and like someone just knew the thoughts racing in my mind that very second.

and even more so, I felt convicted for some reason, as though i could no longer play that i am helpless in this battle with my mind.

see, we often feel that we don't choose worry, that it just happens. and that is why we feel helpless in our fight for our minds. but i want to encourage you to flip the switch, to try of thinking of worry as fear. Because then it gives us the ability to have a choice.

When you worry, it is because you are afraid that something is going to happen, so ultimately the root is fear.

now see, there are legitimate things to fear that are healthy for us and keep us alive.

Like we fear burning our house down so we will make sure to unplug our curling iron and blow out our candle.

but i am not talking about that rational fear, i am talking about the fear that spirals in our heads and have no grounds.

and you know exactly what i am talking about.

the fears that are born out of three things:

1. lack of control

2. hypothetical situations

3. a lie

essentially i call these the "what if" fears.

and let me make a disclaimer here, today we are talking about fear and anxiety that have to do with worry and spiraling in our thoughts that we can fight. Sometimes fighting looks different for different people, whether that be counseling or seeking professional help.

okay now that we are on the same page, let's continue.

my mind is mine,

your mind is yours.

and we can choose what gets to live rent free in there.

the fears that enter our mind may not be ours, but it is my choice if i let them stay, take root, and grow.

This was a hard truth to swallow because i always felt a victim to the racing thoughts and lies. Felt like I had no control in the matter and that my mind could just make my life hell and I had to just sit there and take it.

no.

that was the biggest lie that took root, because it allowed satan to win the battle before it even started.

he got me to believe that there was no point in me even trying to fight, so i willing surrendered to the enemy. That's just sounds absolutely crazy to me when I say it out loud, and honestly it makes me mad too. The fact that he tricked me into believing i would always be worried and anxious and that would forever be my life.

If you aren't feeling this anger of realizing we have been tricked by our enemy the devil when I described worry that way, then let me paint a picture for you.

Imagine you are a soldier for a second. You are part of the strongest military in the world with the greatest Commander, who is undefeated. You are about to head into battle, and your Commander tells you to go out there, stand firm, remember what you have been taught, remember that you are a part of the strongest military in the world, and to trust Him. He promises to go ahead of you and kill the enemy himself, but you need to take refuge in the shade of His cover from the attacks and shots of the enemy so you do not get hit. You have been given the best weapon out there (according to my boyfriend the M4-A1 assault rifle) and it is guaranteed to destroy the enemy and his attacks. Along with that, your Commander lets you know that you have a secret weapon the enemy cannot compete with, and no matter how hard he tries, he won't be able to kill you or destroy you. He may leave some scratches and bruises, but he knows he is going to lose.

The victory is yours, the battle is yours.

And as you walk onto that battle field, you are now fighting from a place of victory rather than for the victory, because you know how it is all going to end.

okay so if that was me out there, i would be feeling pretty good. I mean i have only played a little Call of Duty but even i know that is kinda like a no brainer. I mean, even if i fail and mess up, the win is guaranteed because it isn't dependent on me. Someone is fighting for me. And what i'm hearing is there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of in this battle. If the worst the enemy could do is scratch me up a bit, then I would be feeling pretty fearless.

But instead, we find ourselves crippled with fear as we enter into the battle. Instead of trusting, we doubt. We say, "ya know what, yes I see that i literally have everything on my side and the greatest weapons to fight and the best Commander who is invincible, but ya know like i am not too sure... like what if hypothetically my weapon breaks, or what if my commander fails me. So just in case i'm just gonna go surrender to the enemy instead, surrender my weapon to him, and forget all that I have been taught and listen to what the enemy says even though i know he is wants to destroy me."

ya know that doesn't sound too great to me,

and surrender sounds an awful lot like defeat.

And if i remember right, God already declared you victorious.

so what if we stopped fighting for the victory but rather from the victory, realizing whose we are and who are God is.

Because although i might not be able, i know my God is.

So why don't we live as though we know we have the King of the Universe on our team literally by our side?

well, this is our reality.

this is our life.

we can be fearless and confident in this battle, we are guaranteed the victory, and we have the God of the universe literally fighting on our behalf.

we just have to do three things:

1. Remember what is true.

2. Remember who our God is.

3. Trust Him.

These things aren't some secret formula, but rather they are remembering the power we have been given by our God who strengthens and empowers us.

When you remember the truth of Scripture and what God has spoken over you, remember who our God is, and trust that He is able... then we realize that we can be fearless.

So let's take a closer look at how to actually apply these three fighting tactics to our lives.

Step 1: Remember what is true

In most cases, when fear comes, i notice a lie was often the root of it.

Let me give you example, and in the process i will debunk some of my fears i shared with y'all earlier.

When i fear rejection or that i am not enough, i am forgetting that God calls me chosen and beloved, and that He proclaims me worthy of a perfect love, of His love. Instead, i am believing the lie that satan is telling me that i will never be enough and my actions have to earn my love. Fear only comes when i choose to believe a lie over the truth.

it always comes down to a choice. When i choose to live in the truth that God has proclaimed for me, then fear and satan's lies have no basis to stand upon, and i take away their power.

The only time lies have the power to do anything are when someone gives them power. And that is where we come in. We have to make the choice to remember and choose the truth that we know, and surround ourselves with people who will remind us of God's truth for us.

So if you hear the devil trying to slip some lies into your mind to make you anxious, try stopping everything. Pray. Ask God to remind you of truth. Text two close friends and ask for them to fight for you in prayer, and make the choice to choose God's truth for you and your life over satan's lies. repeat it in your head and say it out loud until you believe it, "I have a choice". And that one choice takes away all of satan's power. That choice is one of our greatest weapons to win the daily battle and to stop the little lies and racing thoughts in their tracks.

Choosing truth also means surrounding yourself in truth. For me, that looks like choosing to listen to worship music on those days when the lies are a little louder than normal, making sure i am reading my Bible because that is the greatest source of truth I have and one of my greatest weapons in this life. It looks like speaking kindly to myself and being in constant communication with my all perfect and loving God who is so kind and will always remind me of truth when I ask Him too. Tell God your fears, He isn't afraid of them. This also looks like grabbing the fear by the neck, figuring out what lie it is stemming from, and immediately going to Scripture to see what God has to say about the matter. Because i can promise you, God's truth will never make you feel anxious. So if you are feeling anxious, it isn't from God.

Okay let's keep going because i am even more excited about this step. This one i just recently learned about a week ago and it has already made a huge difference for me.

Step 2: Remember Who Our God Is

Recently at work, (shoutout DBU Prayer Ministry) my boss, Kristi, wrote a devotional for our students to do during their quiet time.

She addressed a topic that is often avoided these days, "why we sin".

She discussed this concept of sin, but from a totally unique point of view I had never heard before.

Often, when people discuss sin, they focus on the sinner rather than on God. (which can lead to a whole other mess of issues including shame and guilt, but we will talk about that in another blog). But Kristi presented sin in a way that focused on our God rather than putting so much emphasis on the sin and sinner. She said that at the root of every sin is a fear or disbelief about God.

ouch, that one hurt.

anybody else?

I wanted to deny it when i read it, but i knew it was true.

and if you don't believe me, take one lie or worry that is currently in your mind and put it to the test.

and before you say that worry is different than sin... well, God actually commands us in Isaiah 41 to not fear. Yup, not a suggestion or a recommendation, but a command. because he knows that it does not give anything to our life except destruction, in fact it takes more life than it will ever give.

So we are going to put this one to the test and tear down one of my other fears: fear of the past and fear of the future.

One of the greatest fears i had most of my life was that if anyone truly knew all of my sin, my deepest darkest secrets, that no one would love me. I believe my past had broken me beyond repair, and that i would forever suffer the consequences of my sin.

In that one fear, a whole lot of lies and doubts about God are evident. One, it shows that i didn't believe that God was a God of perfect love or that He was powerful enough to redeem my story. I feared that I would forever be broken and that God would leave me where I was. And lastly, I feared that my sin was too big for my God.

ALL LIES.

See, often all of our fears, doubts, and worry are rooted in a wrong belief or fear about God.

I will show you another example:

One of the reoccurring fears i face daily about the future is that everyone I love is going to die, and i will be left all alone. (And yes, i am fully aware that i am a 0 to 100 worse case scenario worrier).

When i get to the root of the issue, it is showing me that at my core, i do not believe that God is enough for me. I think that the people around me are the only way i can make it, but the truth is that if I lost everything...every person, every possession, every thing but I still had God and His love, then i would be okay. And that would be more than enough for me in this life, because I would have my one true love. I am also forgetting that if and when bad things happens, I will never be alone. God will never abandon me, and He will give me the strength to face tragedy as it comes in this broken world. He is enough for me.

Just like i talked about the commander going before his soldier to kill the enemy, God will do the same for us too.

Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

I know it's hard, because we live in a dark and broken world. It is our minds' natural tendency to fear. Even as i wrote the paragraph above i had to pray that i would believe the truth i was writing, because my mind naturally wanted to run to fear instead. It is almost as if it believes that when i fear, i have control.

And that leads us to our last step:

Step 3: Let Go & Trust God

After talking about the other reasons fear occupies our mind, i thought it would be important that we talk about one other way that fear shows up: when we feel out of control.

A lot of us try and deny it, i even did at one point, but if we search hard enough into our hearts' desires, often there is a desire for control, and i think 2020 has proved that.

So many of us in the beginning of this year believed that we had control over our lives. We had it all planned out from when we would graduate to what we would do next week to having a job and being able to get married on a certain day.

well, within what felt like a week, that all vanished.

Classes that students were supposed to fill remained empty, weddings had to be postponed, families struggled with both parents losing their jobs, grocery store shelves were bare, people started turning on people, businesses burned to the ground as plexiglass got put up, deaths of heroes took place...those we thought were invincible, and homes became prisons to those whose abusers happened to live under their same roof.

And we found ourselves, stuck inside, unable to stop the tragedy, feeling overwhelmed and helpless in this fight... and fear slowly started to seep into our minds and hearts.

If there is anything 2020 has taught me, it's that I never had control in the first place.

It is hard to admit, but fear often comes from us feeling out of control.

Today i was flying back to Dallas and as soon as we took off i suddenly had this fear of falling, and my fear of heights became very evident. The strange thing is that i am a regular on planes, seriously they are second nature to me with my life being split between Texas and Colorado. But for some reason, this time, every time i closed my eyes to fall asleep (like i do on most flights) i would feel this drop as though we were falling and i would be jolted awake just to see that i was okay and we were still smoothly flying. I realized this was gonna be a long flight if I didn't get over this fast, so I needed to address the issue. As i pulled out my laptop to work on this blog and distract myself, God gave me an image.

What if our life is like flying, we get on board trusting the pilot to get us safely to our destination. See, as soon as fear came into my mind that the plane was falling, i could have ran to the cockpit and tried to take control from the pilot. I could have demanded he move over because I needed to save us. However, I would quickly see that even if i wanted to have control, i had no idea what i was doing. And me being in control would, in fact, cause more damage and devestation, than if i trusted the pilot to do what he promised he would do. Get us from A to B. As a passanger, it is not my job to fly the plane or be in control, and it's not supposed to be. I believe life is the same. Although we think control is the answer, it really isn't. It just causes us stress because we are trying to do something we weren't intended or created to do. Just as a pilot is designed to fly a plane, a passenger is meant to "sit down, relax, and enjoy the flight", knowing the pilot has it all under control and we can trust Him.

So what are you trying to control right now that you weren't intended to?

Is it the future?

or maybe if your loved one will choose Jesus

or who you are supposed to marry

or maybe even what you are supposed to do today.

Because friend, let me tell you, it gets awfully heavy carrying a load that wasn't intended for you to carry. If you are burnt out, with a heaviness greater than you can bear, might i say your freedom can be found in letting go and trusting God?

Because I know that is what i need to do.

So as i sit here on the plane that scared me a few minutes ago, i find the fear in my mind diminishing, realizing i can trust my pilot to land me safely in Texas. And i also know that if a detour happens, i can trust him too.

He has the best interest of his passengers in mind, and when turbulence comes my way, He will calmly tell me to buckle up and remain seated, while He navigates me through the storm.

I am not sure where you are right now when reading this blog.

Maybe you are like me and you are tired of letting fear control your life and want to remove the chains it has on your joy.

Maybe you have struggled with anxiety your entire life and are tired of just taking the hits day in and day out, you want to fight.

Or maybe you have a loved one who you see hurting, in desperate need of this fearless freedom we speak of.

Well, either way, i am glad you are here. I am glad you are reading this, and I am glad we are in this fight together. Might i remind you, there is never one passenger on a plane.

You are not alone.

Use the tools and fighting strategies i have given you and learn what works best for you. Some days certain tools will work better than others, but remember the power is within you because you are empowered by the God of the Universe to fight this Battle. He is fighting for you too.

And let me add that i am still learning, some of these were my tools and others are ones I have aquired in this fight for freedom. Wow, doesn't it feel great to know we have the power to fight back? Today you can choose to be fearless.

I am excited, aren't you?

Well let's go show the world what we are made of. Fear is no longer our prison, the chains have fallen, our God has declared us FREE INDEED. That's the name of this whole blog i started in the first place anyway.

We are FREE. Declare it! Live it! This is your life!

Now let's go be fearless together.

Love y'all,

Selena

Verses of Truth:

“Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

"The Lord is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall i be afraid...Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident" Psalm 27:1,3

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble" Psalm 46:1

"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:27

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." Psalm 56:3

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

2 Timothy 1: 7

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

** I made a new spotify account to share the music with y'all that helps me fight these battles! Click here to view it!**