Fully known and Fully loved

we are all running.

either from something

or to something.

racing to find fulfillment, to find purpose, to find hope

racing to fill this aching hole within us that just desires to love and to be loved.

Love.

one of the greatest mysteries to mankind.

one of the most misused and diluted words in our world today.

one of the things our hearts crave the most.

according to google, "love" is:

love [ləv]:

1. an intense feeling of deep affection.

2. a great interest and pleasure in something.

3. to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).

"feeling"..."sexual"..."interest"..."pleasure"

no wonder we are so confused about love,

our world has twisted it into a monster.

since when did love become based on a feeling? ...even though feelings change.

since when did the pursuit of pleasure become the purpose of this life? ...even though we are always left feeling more empty than when we started.

and since when did sex become an expected standard in any relationship and the means by which someone shows their "love"?... even though outside of marriage it only reaps destruction and heartbreak.

...where did we go wrong?...

When did love get confused with lust,

when did love get mistaken for passion,

when did love become associated with pain,

and when did love result in heartbreak and betrayal.

...where did we go wrong?

In full transparency, I have attempted to write this blog for literally 3 months. I have had multiple drafts, all left open ended, countless hours of writing, just to keep feeling like I was somehow missing the point. Almost like I was writing about something I truly didn't grasp myself yet, which I didn't. The concept I'm about to talk to you about is something I just learned for myself a few months ago, and to be honest, am still learning today. It is a truth that has transformed my life in the short time since, and I hope it can transform yours too. Though I struggle to find the words to convey to you all the things that currently flood my mind, I pray that the Lord will be able to speak to you through my flawed words and sin stained hands. For I know that the God of the universe has something He wants to speak to you today, a message of truth and power, of hope and deliverance, of freedom and a new song. And although it may currently be 3 am and i'm sitting in my comfy bed writing this while most of Colorado is asleep, I pray that the God of the universe would meet you here and now and wreck you. in fact, completely destroy you, because that is what He did to me, and to be honest, I've never seen something so beautiful. He called me out, shined light into my own darkness and delivered me when I though I was too far gone. He did that for me, and I know He wants nothing more than to do the same for you. So today, I hope you'll join me, I'm gonna take us back to the beginning, back to where it all began, back to our first love...

this past semester, it seemed that everywhere I turned there was another test being thrown in my face or another book I had to read or another paper I had to write about discovering who I am. hate to break it to many of you newly graduated seniors, but coming to college doesn't suddenly mean you got your life together, in fact, I think its the complete opposite.

Coming into college, I thought I knew who I was, or at least the basics of what makes me, me. I knew my name was Selena Ariana Parks and I was an 18 year old from Thornton, Colorado pursuing a major in EC-6 Education. I wanted to become an ESL teacher and travel the world, and finding a cute husband along the way wouldn't be bad either. I knew I HATED country music and that if a good beat came on it would take everything within me to not start dancing. I was a people pleaser at my core and was kinda an over the top perfectionist. I was a natural born observer and took in all the information I could to interpret the world around me. I knew I was an introvert deep down but could fake an extrovert really well and could carry a conversation easy. I mean, I loved God, I hated chocolate, and I had a strange obsession with straws and chopsticks ( sorry turtles), so I figured I kinda had this "knowing who I am" thing in the bag at least for a minute. that things would always be this way, that this was me.

hah, that was a joke.

on the surface today, some might say I look exactly the same, and to be honest, a lot of the things I just stated about me are still true. I still want to travel and still hate chocolate, I still use chopsticks every chance I get and am still an introvert. but the reality is, there was so much more to me that I never let the world see until recently, a side of me I thought no one would really care to even know.

for the majority of my life, I thought the world wanted a skinny, makeup faced, tan, well put together girl who exuded confidence in all she did somehow effortlessly. I noticed people were attracted to perfection, so I did my best to create the illusion that I was. And I knew that people didn't like the mess, they liked the perfect smile and cute laugh kind of girl who knew how to have a good time. that's what they ordered, so that's what they got.

I am being 100% honest with you when I say I truly believed for years that these things would make me more likeable or "more marketable" to those around me. I really thought that if I just posted the right picture or if I just did my makeup the right way or just acted the way they wanted me to then I would finally earn the attention and love I wanted from those around me.

and I'm not saying it didn't work, it just didn't work to get what I was searching for, which was an authentic love. I mean, I did get some guys attention, but I quickly realized that I got them with my "looks", so the only way to keep was by living up to the image I had created. I found myself friends with people who had conversations that left my soul feeling like a dry desert, quenched and begging for something of value, something to give it life. And I found myself getting ready each day, not only to put on an exterior that would please, but an interior wall, because I thought if they could see who I really was, then they would run.

and i thought this was love.

I believed that acceptance equated with love,

that "belonging" signified purpose,

and that each relationship was circumstantial.

that love was circumstantial.

But it just didn't make sense...I had observed the world around me, and seen what people wanted. I became that person. I made it that they had to like me, because I had become everything their human hearts desired...but yet I for some reason was still unable to secure their "love", and that aching hole within me only grew deeper.

I struggled with this reality for months, struggled to discover what the missing piece was so I could finally get the love my heart so desperately craved. And through the process, I even sacrificed my very self. the me that I had put walls around so no one could see. the me that was there when I woke up and went to sleep, the me that I only knew, that only I could see.

and it wasn't until this past semester that I saw her again for the first time in over 13 years.

for so many years, I had detached myself from the rawest most authentic form of myself because I thought that's what the world wanted. I thought that in doing so I would finally be able to answer one of the greatest questions that has plagued me my entire life: "Am I worthy of your love?". this question was the root of all I did, the root of some of my greatest sin and some of my greatest downfalls. It is what drove me for so many years, to the point where I believed that I would never be more than a chameleon to fill the role each different person needed me to be for them. For some, it was the "counselor", to be there for them when they were crying and hurting, to walk with them through the pain. For others it was the "Perfect Christian", to be the example for the high school as chaplain or to lead Bible studies and volunteer to pray in class when no one else would-- pretending like life was perfect along with my relationship with God. And for others it was what I like to call the "College Application", the one to take charge and lead, who played all the sports, had a 4.0 and was in international club, student counsel, yearbook, played piano and took all the dual credit classes available. (hate to break it to ya but no one cares once you're in college about half of the stuff you did in high school) Or even for some, I was "the perfect one to take home to mom", I loved God and was a great student, looked innocent and had the long pretty hair, never got into trouble, was always respectful to adults and knew how to throw on the charm, plus I planned on being a missionary to other countries all while adopting some kids along the way--oh, and I could cook. Yet, it never mattered how perfectly I fit the role each of them desired me to fill, I would still never receive the kind of love I desired in return, and I began to become fed up. it didn't matter how skinny or "pretty" I was at the end of the day, because I found the aching hole inside only grew bigger. the attention I was attracting was nothing more than lust, even though I misinterpreted it for love.

it didn't matter what clothes I wore or what sports I played, it didn't matter how much I gave up to a guy or how I would try and "fit the part" in order to have friends, because every night when I went to bed, I found that I was still all alone. Those friends I would walk through hell and back with never knew that I was dying on the inside, because I thought they didn't want the mess. Those people that expected me to be the "perfect Christian" I found struggled to exude the love of God themselves, and it didn't matter how many dual credit classes I took or sports I played or how many people liked me because when you enter college you are just a little fish in a big sea with a fresh start, and no one cares what you got on your dang ACT. And even for the guys, it didn't matter if you looked perfect on paper or even in person, they always wanted more.

and in the midst of it all, I lost myself.

I believed I was who I had created myself to be. whether it be a straight A student or the girl who knew how to batt her eyes at the right time, I thought that was who I would always have to be. That the "love" i was getting in return was the love that I deserved, so I needed to take what I could get...even though it left me exhausted and drained, living as a shell of who I was created to be. But I figured if I could just be what they wanted, then I would earn their love.

This was the only way to be accepted,

to be wanted by another human being.

so if this is what they ordered.

then this is what they would get.

this was the only way to earn their love.

I believe one of my greatest sins was to not live as the person God had created me to be for so long, and to try and answer the question of "If I was worthy of love" on my own. it was exhausting because I was trying to earn a love I was already freely given. To prove myself or earn my rank with a God that knows all my darkest sins and lowest moments. Striving for perfection is really hard when you see how screwed up you really are, especially when you think that all love is circumstantial--dependent upon you. so I come to y'all today, and hope you don't mind if I try and make up for some lost time, but I'm finally living as the person who I hid for so many years,

and i'm no longer ashamed

this is me.

I am a sinner, and a good one at that. I've hurt many people, including some of who I've loved the most. I'm a natural born control freak and will manipulate situations and people to get the love my heart longs for. Words mean the world to me, and have the power to destroy me if used in a hurtful way. I tend to hold onto things longer than I should, and bitterness is something I struggle with. I've been afraid to leave my house in the morning without makeup out of fear that people would literally not recognize me or that they would treat me different. There are moments when I have wanted nothing to do with God, and thoughts of ending it all crossed my mind. I have been in relationships where I made the other person feel as though they weren't enough. I tend to not want to tell people things because I feel like I'm just a bother to them and that they don't really care. I struggle in big group situations because I feel overwhelmed and at times insignificant with nothing to contribute. At times I've played the victim card and pretended like I was strong when I was literally hanging on for dear life. I tend to blame others for my mistakes and sins, because guilt will eat me alive if I accept that I was the problem. I have used others for my convenience and broken hearts I should have held with care, because I am a sinner. I am flawed. I am a human being. This is me.

it was this semester for the first time in my life that I accepted all of this to be true,

that I was my own worst enemy

and I needed to be saved from myself.

After reading those things, you may think "wow she's a mess" or that I'm a pretty crappy person... or maybe you relate, either way that's okay. When I first realized these things, I thought all of that too. I was literally in tears in counseling last month when I finally realized how screwed up I was--I felt hopeless. In that moment, I finally took responsibility of years of sins I had committed and things I had done, and I had never felt more unworthy of love in my entire life...

However, the things listed above are not that of a horrible person,

but that of a broken person.

a human being.

and for the first time in my entire life,

I finally got it. I finally understood the love of God.

the moment I realized that the King of the Universe knew all these things about me--my deepest regrets, darkest moments, and dirtiest sins--and still chose me, I was dumbfounded. it just didn't make sense. I couldn't comprehend why someone would choose to still love me when I was such a horrible person. and then I realized something...

recently, a friend of mine and I decided to start reading Luke. Trust me, this isn't to make me sound like a godly person who reads their Bible every day because that in reality has been something I have always struggled to do. But we turned to scripture because we needed truth, and we knew that is where we would get it. Well when it was our first day of reading, I read the introduction of what the book contained, and it referenced how in Luke 15 there are three stories in which God shows His relentless, gracious, and passionate love for us--the stories of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the TWO lost sons. I was intrigued and flipped to chapter 15 to find the three stories that have changed the way I viewed Gods love. However, I am going to focus in on the story that made me finally get it, the story that I had heard a million times before but for some reason hit me different that day, and every time I've read it since. so if you have a Bible in access near to you, I pray you'll open up to Luke Chapter 15 verse 11 with me, to the story of the prodigal son.

I know what you may be thinking, that you've heard this story a thousand times before too, but please just walk through this passage with me for a second and I'll think you'll be surprised to realize you may have overlooked a key part of the story that I overlooked too.

Beginning in verse 11, Luke writes of a father who had two sons. Now the younger of the two sons had asked his father to give him his share of the inheritance, and his father did as the son had asked. Soon after, the son set off for a distant country and spent his inheritance on "wild living". He lived for the pursuit of pleasure and the lusts of life, to still only end up empty and alone. After he had spent everything to his name, a severe famine came upon the land where he was. In order to survive, he went and got a job as a pig feeder for a local citizen. He came to the point where he was so hungry, that he longingly wished he could fill his stomach with the food the pigs were eating. he had hit rock bottom. and it was there amongst the pigs that it dawned on him that even his father's servants had food to spare, yet he was there feeding pigs and starving to death. So he decided in that moment to return to his father and apologize for what he had done. "So he got up and went to his father". But even while he was a long way off, his father saw him in the distance and was "filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." The son went on to say "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son." But the father said to his servants "Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate." Meanwhile, the older brother was in the field and heard the music from the celebration. He asked one of the servants what was going on to which he replied, "Your brother has come and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound. The older brother got angry and refused to go in to join in celebration. So his father came out and begged him to come in and join them." To this the son said, "Look! all these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitution comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!" "My son,' the father said, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

if I'm being honest, every time I have heard that story before I never really though I was the prodigal son, in fact, I didn't think I was either son. But whenever I read this story again last month, for the first time in my life I realized that I am both brothers. both were broken, both were lost, and both had a twisted view of love.

see when you look at the younger brother in verse 21, he tells his father "I am no longer worthy to be called you son". In those words, we can see that he believed his father's love for him was circumstantial, and that due to his actions he had lost the worth and place he once held in his fathers heart. Where he went wrong was that he believed that through his own actions he had earned his value and place in the sight of his father. When in reality, there was nothing that he could do to earn OR change His father's love for Him. It didn't matter that he had ran off and disrespected him, that he wanted nothing to do with him and chose the things of this world over him...because in the end, the father was always waiting, looking off in the distance, waiting, with his arms open wide, waiting, ready for that moment when he could celebrate that this child of his who was dead was alive again; that his child that was lost was now found.

but see, it doesn't just end there, because in our hearts, so many of us are the older brother too. just as lost, and just as in need of an unfailing love. The older brother confronts the father saying how dare he give the fattened calf to his brother when he has been here at home the entire time working relentlessly, never abandoning his family or rejecting his father, and never disobeying any orders, yet why did he not get the celebration of "being found" as his brother did. Shouldn't he have gotten a bigger reward for never being lost?

and that is where the issue lies. So many of us struggle to see the condition of our own hearts. Both brothers were lost, one had come to the point where he realized there was nothing he could or couldn't do to change his Fathers love for him, while the other was still trying to work for a love that he had already been freely given. a love that was already rightfully his, so why didn't he accept it?

Many of us struggle to accept the love that our Heavenly Father has declared for us due to the way love has been twisted by this world. If you've ever heard the song "Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury, the lyrics state the way that God's love is described for us in scripture, a love that it is an overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love.

Reckless.

seems like an odd word choice right? reckless and God typically don't go together let alone describe Him and His actions. but I think this word is actually the perfect way to describe why we so often fail and struggle to accept the love that God has for us.

When I hear reckless love, I think of a love that doesn't make sense, that isn't logical, and that is hard to comprehend in the eyes of the world. a love that is persistent and diligent, relentless and powerful...that looks at the risk of pain and heartbreak in the face and goes on even knowing that their love still might be rejected. When I hear reckless love, I think of the love of a God that knows every sin that I've committed, who knows who I am when I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed at night, who knows when I've reached my breaking point with myself or my head is in a dark place, and who has been there to see every tear fall from my eyes from the pain that aches within... and still chooses to love me. This is a love that will never make sense to me. it's not comprehendible by the human mind because our human love with always fail due to our sinful nature. So THAT is why it is called reckless love, because in our human minds a love like that doesn't make sense, we would have all have given up, we would've all chosen to stop loving at the risk of rejection and knowing all that He knows. But the God of the universe created us, KNOWS us, and STILL chooses to love us, and if that isn't reckless love, then I don't know what is.

Maybe you saw this coming, and maybe you didn't, but the song "Reckless Love" is actually based off of the three parables of love found in Luke chapter 15. The stories of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the lost sons. In my copy of scripture (NIV) it doesn't say "a lost coin" or "a lost sheep" in the title, but "The Lost Coin" and "The Lost Sheep". The word "the" implies a specific coin and a specific sheep. It means that the woman was looking for a specific coin in the darkness and in the shadows of every part of her house, because even though she had the other 9 left, her heart knew that she was missing the one. Same with the shepherd, though he has 100 sheep, if he loses one he will not merely count it a loss. No. instead he will "leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it".

maybe today you've been running,

either from something or to something,

trying to fill that aching hole within you that craves an authentic, reckless kind of love.

Today I want to tell you that it doesn't matter how far you've gone or how long you've run. It doesn't matter if your life is a mess or if you have it "all together" in the eyes of the world. it doesn't matter if you've been saved most of your life, or if you've never heard of this God I've been talking about... because in both cases, you may have lived almost your entire life like me, never understanding the reckless love of our God. the love of the gospel, and even more so, never accepting it.

today, i beg you to be honest. not only with me but with yourself... because I know the truth.

you're exhausted from trying to live up to others standards to earn their love.

you're tired of having to keep of this "perfect" act to feel worthy of anothers love.

and you're done with being everyone and anything but yourself.

well, me too.

today is the day,

stop running and stop seeking.

the fulfillment you've been looking for is right in front of you, that purpose you ache for is right before you, and that love you so deeply desire has always been there, waiting for you with open arms. And it's time that you accept it.

filling that gaping hole in your heart with another relationship will only leave you trying to beg a flawed human being for a perfect kind of love, filling that need for perfection by looking certain way when you leave the house each day really won't matter if you still hate what you see in the mirror, and no amount of drinking or high will ever be able to numb you from the ache and emptiness your heart feels searching but never finding anything or anyone to love it as it deserves. no girl or guy, no job, no amount of money, and no person will ever be enough until you look to the one for which your heart was created, your first love.

the King of the Universe, your Heavenly Father loves you more than you'll ever know. He loves you so much that He sent Heaven into bankruptcy to sacrifice His Son on your behalf. This is a love that has stood the test of time. A love that is seen in the tears and blood that dripped down His beaten body on that cross over 2000 years ago. over 2000 years ago, Jesus hung on the cross, beaten and betrayed,

carrying all the sins you would ever commit on His bleeding shoulders,

facing the punishment of death so you wouldn't have to.

That day the greatest declaration of love the world has ever seen was done on your behalf. Jesus died for you knowing that you might not ever want Him, but still thought you were worth it, worthy of His love. The Pharisees called it foolish, the world said He was insane, and those whom He died for spat in His face. Yet, all the while He was thinking of you and how it was worth it, you were worth it. all because of He loves you.

He chose you then, He chooses you now, and He will choose you forever.

You never have to fear that He will stop loving you, because His love isn't just a feeling, it was an action. and in that moment, all doubt was put to death.

There is no denying His love for you.

To Him, You are worth it.

So it doesn't matter how far "gone" you are, for as we saw earlier, many who need to "be found" don't even know that they are lost. It doesn't matter how long you've run, for your Heavenly Father is always waiting there with open arms. And it doesn't matter what your past may look like, Because the God of the universe, the God who created you and knows you, chooses you today. He loves you today, even if you don't love Him in return. You are fully known and fully loved for who you are in this very moment, mess and all.

today it is your choice to make the same decision I did around a month ago. To not just hear of this love that God has for us to but to accept it for ourselves. To not just hear of it and to know of it, but to LIVE in it. To LIVE knowing you don't need the acceptance or approval of those around you, because you have already been accepted by the One who created you. To know that you don't have to live every day in bondage to those around you desperately seeking their love because you have a love that has already been freely given to you. To be able to actually LIVE as who you were created to be, unafraid to show the world who you are for the King of the Universe delights in you. And to live in the knowledge that you don't have to be anything or do anything to earn the gift of the cross. in fact, you could do nothing in your human power to earn what Christ gifted you that day. To LIVE today knowing that you are fully known, and fully loved.

if that isn't true love, then what is?

For many of you, we've never truly met before, and for that I have to apologize. it breaks my heart that you only saw what I wanted you to see for so many years, and never what I wished you could have seen all along. I failed to live as the person God had created me to be for the majority of my life and instead replaced her with a carbon copy of what the world wanted me to be instead. For so many years I thought y'all wouldn't like who God created me to be. but I've now realized there is no one else I would rather be. So let me take a moment to tell you about myself, through the eyes of the One who has always known me, and has always chosen to love me.

this is me.

hi my name is Selena, but my Heavenly Father likes to call me Beloved and Set Free. Though at times I struggle to let go of past mistakes, my Father has told me I have been made a new creation. I have lived 18 years, and for 18 years I have seen His faithfulness in my life, even when I thought life wasn't worth it anymore. For years I believed the lies that I would never be worthy of another's love, but He has not only told me that I am loved, but that I am His. I no longer have to search for approval and acceptance in the eyes of the world, for He has declared that I have been set free from the bondage they held once held on me. on the days when I've woken up, and struggled to find something that I liked in the mirror, He reminded me that I am more precious than jewels, and that He makes no mistakes. When I've laid in bed, heartbroken with tears streaming down my face, He reminded me that He has a plan for me greater than I could ever imagine, and I need not fear that He would ever leave me or forsake me even though others had. I love the color yellow, because it reminds me of the sun, which in turn reminds me of Him. He has shined light upon the darkest parts of me, the mess, and still chooses me each and every day. He is never failing like the Sun, always there every morning, and the first to see me each day. My favorite flower is a sunflower, because they always turn their face towards the sun, and I hope to do the same with my life. He calls me friend, as I do him, and we love to go on drives together. One of my favorite places to be is in my car on a sunny day, windows down and music loud, singing at the top of my lungs and dancing in my seat. I can't help but smile when thinking of it, because I know that He loves to see me smile. and i've come to realize that every innocent love of mine like that is something He imprinted on my heart, almost like a little piece of Him. He also gave me a heart that loves time alone, time to think, and time to process. Writing is one of the ways I'm able to do so, and that is usually when I feel most in touch with Him. Some may think it's goofy, and I know He does too, but I start off every prayer with "Hi Dad" just to put a smile on His face. I also find so much joy in the simple things in life, things like straws and chopsticks, mint gum and late night talks. And what I love even more is that I know He delights in not only those things, but He delights in me too. all of me. He has seen me when I wake up at three in the morning, having forgotten to take my contacts out, or when I wake up with at 11 with drool, my retainer in, and only one sock on. He has seen me when I came home crying after a date and in the moments when tore apart His creation by throwing hateful words at my own body. He has seen me with my sin stained hands, coming to Him once again saying I was sorry. He knows me, all of me. And yet, when He sees me, He feels nothing but love. He tells me that He knew me, all of me, before I was even born and that I was wonderfully made. Even though I am a perfectionist, and often my own worst critic, He reminds me that He is the only one who truly makes no mistakes-- and that was no different when He made me. Many days, He has to remind me of who I am, because everyone tries to tell me I'm something else. But I know the greatest truth of all is that I am fully known, and fully loved by the One who created me. and that will never change.

this is me.

now who are you?

Romans 8:37-39

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

1 John 4:19

"We love because he first loved us."

Galatians 2:20

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

John 15:13

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

Ephesians 2:4-5

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."

1 John 4:7 (NKJV)

Knowing God Through Love

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God."

John 17:22-23

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one-- I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."

Romans 5:8

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

John 3:16

For God So Loved the World

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

John 8:36

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

Prayer:

Hi Dad,

I stand before you today a sinner and a broken human being. My human nature is to reap destruction--to hurt and to betray those close to me, to manipulate and abandon those who have hurt me. Lord, due to my state, I have sought fulfillment and love in the hands of the world, and the result has only been devastation and heartache on my behalf. Lord, I pray today that you would help me to accept the love you have declared for me, to not just know of it or hear of it but to believe it. Believe to the point where I can stand confident in who you have created me to be. To know that I am loved by the King of the Universe, and that is enough--in fact, that's more than enough. Today I choose you Lord, I choose to accept this love. To let it not just live in me but to transform me. To transform the way I view myself in the light of the way you see me. To live in the freedom YOU have spoken over me. To know that with you I am fully known and fully loved, baggage and all...mess and all, and you still choose me. Wow. You are so good God. I thank you for pursuing me, for leaving the ninety-nine to find me, for your reckless love is relentless, and you will never give up on me. I am running back to you Father, back to your warm embrace. Back to the place where I know I will find the love I have been searching for, a never-failing, never-ending, reckless kind of love. I love you Dad. thank you for loving me too.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Songs to remind you that you are fully known and fully loved:

"Reckless Love": Cory Asbury

"God Only Knows": For King & Country

"Broken Things": Matthew West

"O Come to the Altar": Elevation Worship

"How Can It Be": Lauren Daigle

"Control": Tenth Avenue North

"Extravagant": Steffany Gretzinger + Amanda Cook

"Worth It": Lecrae

"Living Hope": Phil Wickham

"How He Loves": David Crowder Band

"You Say ": Lauren Daigle

"Forever Reign": Hillsong Live

"Who You Say I Am": Hillsong Worship

** If y'all have any questions about this topic or just need someone to talk about it with feel free to submit a question or prayer on the "Prayer Wall" page or reach me at my email selenaparks33@gmail.com. Love y'all a ton and thanks so much for taking the time to read all that the Lord has been doing, He is SO Good!** -Selena